
BY AARON STELLA Amidst the revelry of the Mr. Gay Philadelphia pageant, I was able to finagle a future interview out of Michael Musto, famed gay-celeb columnist for the Village Voice in NYC. So a couple of weeks later, I hopped on the Chinatown bus headed for Village Voice’s headquarters in NYC. Musto, dressed in a crisp black and white vertical-striped shirt and baggy black slacks, (and of course, wearing his trademark Sally Jesse Raphaels) explained to me that the Voice was moving. Most everything was packed in boxes and hardly anyone was in the newsroom. We found a quiet spot in the building that was for the most part bare save a desk, a few boxes and two desk chairs. I put my recorder on top of an empty cardboard box and said…
Phawker: OK: I guess we’ll just play 20 questions first and get that out of the way, shall we? So, tell me a bit about yourself: your Wiki page says a number of things, but there gaps, and plenty to elaborate on. Perhaps where you grew up is a good place to start.
Musto: I grew up in Brooklyn. I’m an only child, so, I really grew up internally; I didn’t even have any imaginary
friends. And I was very shy. I was always the last one to raise my hand in class. I actually never spoke during my entire childhood—I just didn’t volunteer any information.
Phawker: Sort of like “children should be seen and not heard”? You embrace that?
Musto: (Laughter) No, no, ha! I don’t think it’s a good idea. But [taciturnity] did help me develop some internal life, and become an observer. I would go to the movies and write myself little reviews on little index cards that I would file in filing cabinets. I even wrote a full-length play when I was like nine-years-old. It’s in the garage somewhere—along with my boyfriend’s head, or something. (Laughter) I mean, I did very well in school: I was a great student and ended up going to Columbia University. I was 16 when I entered.
Phawker: Wow!
Musto: And they didn’t have journalism major then so I had to major in English. So I wrote for the school paper, and I sat in on graduate Journalism classes.
Phawker: So then, what was your focus as an English major? Or, I mean, what was your passion?
Musto: I had no passion for it. I wanted to study Journalism, but [English] was the closest thing. You know, Jane Austin is a close as you get (Laughter). But by my third year of school, I was way more interested in the activities then the curriculum. I was in the Gilbert and Sullivan shows and did musical theater.
Phawker: Wow, so I guess you’ve got some pipes on you.
Musto: I mean, yeah: I had a band, too. I can carry a tune.
Phawker: Well, what about doing karaoke?
Musto: I won’t get up [to do it]. I reminds me too much of being in a band, and all the things that can go wrong. Unlike Madonna, I want to control every aspect. You probably saw the “Behind the Music” on VH1; it was on for like 40 years. When I had a band, and before she was famous, we used to share a bill at a downtown club. Well, my band never got to sound check before she took over because she had to test the mike from every angle, taking absolutely forever. And also, after we went on, her manager, who was a woman, told us that she didn’t want us receiving guests after our performance because Madonna was getting ready. And we were all like, “Uh, you already denied us a sound check, so…”.
Phawker: Why would she deny you well-wishers?
Musto: Well, because Madonna was getting ready—and we all know Madonna doesn’t want anybody to see her naked, right? (Laughter) Ironic, no? Anyways—but I actually love karaoke because I love watching other people make of a fool of themselves. In fact, I feel a lot of my life consists of observing other people destroy themselves in entertaining ways. I wouldn’t drink; and [I’d] watch them guzzle the booze and fall down drunk; and I wouldn’t gamble, but I love going to casinos and watch people in awful luck, pulling the slots.
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