Search Results for: cover wars

Sorry CP. This just ain’t your week, kid. WINNER: PW

In the future we will all live on the Internet, where, abetted by the micro miracles of nanotechnology, we will build vast hive-like colonies within the circuitry of microchips, convert ourselves into JPEGs and climb inside the New Frontier. It will be just like Tron, but with Kraftwerk doing the soundtrack. There will be no need for cars or oil or the wars that come with them, we’ll just attach ourselves to an email and type in the addy to wherever we wanna go; for vast distances, instead of flying, we will simply upload and download ourselves. And, most importantly, […]

As you may have noticed, Cover Wars have been on hiatus for the last coupla weeks. We have been waiting for the other shoe to drop in the PW Sale story because, hey, we feel that people fearing for their jobs don’t need our shit-talking, unless their name is Imus. But that’s just us. While we are waiting to see where PW owner Anthony Clifton’s gold-plated loafer will drop, we’d like to take a minute here to ponder what all this means: First and foremost, the golden age of the alternative weekly is OVER, and the industry is moving from […]

WINNER: DAILY NEWS?

This week was easy. We were gonna make CP’s Big Battel-esque Re-Formers cover the winner. But then CP’s blog thingee gave Phawker talk-to-the-hand in their March Madness pool. Just to show that we can be just as petty and small as the rest of the pricks in the blog pond, this week CP snatches defeat from the jaws of victory. Besides, we really, really like the sangria at Amada. WINNER: PW

These are the cover stories that try the souls of alternative weekly art directors: A legendary newspaper columnist with a face for radio and an It Boy mixmaster with a radio for a face. I’ve seen this before: usually the AD in question will break down sobbing in the 11th hour before deadline, kicking and pounding the floor, IT CAN’T BE DONE! IT JUST CAN’T! they’ll scream. By this point the publisher will usually rush in, grab her by the arms, shake her, maybe slap her across the face once or twice until she snaps out of it (this sometimes […]

Back when we were starting a band, the guitar player wanted to call it One Percent Off. Walking through the produce aisle of the grocery store one day, he said, he saw a sticker on some arugula that said 1% Off and it struck him as a eureka moment. “The whole goddamn world is one percent off!” he said. Unfortunately we went with The Floating Doo Doo Balls instead, which in part explains why you never heard of us. But the good news is that boy finally got the help he so obviously needed. We bring this up because it’s […]

[The curtain closes and the camera pulls back to reveal a stone-faced audience sitting on their hands. The uncomfortable silence is broken only by the occasional cough, chair squeak and, yes, the chirping of crickets.] WINNER: Daily News’ Shitful Cover Band Cover Because, Hey, It’s Been That Kind Of Week

Here’s to the motivational power of Tough Love. After giving both alt-weeklies talk-to-the-hand last week, both have come back strong — as Mike Newall would say. (Whatever happened to that guy, anyway?) CP rocks yet another distinctive illustration by Evan M. Lopez to illustrate it Sarah Weinman‘s Where’s Waldo?-esque cover story on a nameless Philly boy missing for 50 years — complete with retro cherry top, spot-color blood stains and case-solving arrow (he was behind the cop the whole time, in the trees, right below the arrow!). Good stuff, CP, however, PW really upped their game this week. With a […]

As if we needed further proof that the winter doldrums are officially upon us, here comes two alt-weekly covers that scream at the top of their lungs: Low tide at idea beach. If you guys aren’t gonna try, why should we? WINNER: City Paper

Today we are handing out nothing but lollipops and sunshine, because EVERYBODY wins this week! To wit, simultaneously strong cover art and, rarer still, strong-ass cover stories from both CP and PW this week. And in a curious coincidence, both tackle the drug issue from intriguing angles. CP’s Jeff Deeney reminds us that a fool and his coke whore are soon parted, especially when you rack up $16,000 on your credit card. (Here’s an idea: how about you find a girlfriend and buy a case of Red Bull instead, hmmm?) Yeah, the story states the obvious, but readers LOVE following […]

Someone important once said: Writing about comedy is like square-dancing about acupuncture. Or they should have. And now, for all intents and purposes, it has been said. And not a moment too soon, because PW rock’s its first, and possibly last, annual Humor Issue this week and boy are my arms tired! Props for the 411 on local laugh shacks and the aspiring showbiz Sheckys that fill them with hot air, laughing gas and two-drink-minimum guffaws. Which reminds us, did you ever hear the one about the lollipop and the jump rope? Skip it, it sucks. [insert rimshot here] Yeah, […]

You be the judge. UPDATE: Turns out there is such a thing as ‘visual plagiarism’ — in Richmond, Virginia. And ONLY in Richmond, Virginia, it would seem (read this, this is an assinine firing by piss-poor managment, it’s an INTERN for Chrissakes, you fire them for blowing the President not for hitting a foul ball on the job). Frankly, we’re more interested in talking about why these kids’ legs are blown off instead of who wins the race to get a photogenic Iraq vet double amputee on the cover. Don’t hate the messenger, hate the message.