Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld famously declared that ‘You go to war with the Woody Allen you have, not the Woody Allen you might want.’ At the time — middle of the Iraq War fiasco — it made absolutely no sense, but now? Different story. Closing weekend of International House’s Free To Love film series kicks off Valentine’s Day with an unfortunately-timed screening of Woody Allen’s Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To Ask 8 pm Friday night at the Ibrahim Theater. Inspired by the controversial book of the same name, by Dr. David Rueben, Allen addresses a variety of “helpful” questions (“What is Sodomy?” “What Happens During Ejaculation?”) through a series of outrageous vignettes. Featuring performances from Gene Wilder, Burt Reynolds and Louise Lasser, Everything You Always Wanted to Know… is the ultimate parody of the popular pseudo-science that emerged during the sexual revolution. Swedish Summer Of Love coming of age classic I Am Curious (Blue) screens 8 pm Saturday at the Ibrahim Theater.