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BREAKING: AP Ticker To Be The New Celebrity Pitchman For The Philadelphia Brewing Company?

We sure hope so. He is easily the second or third most interesting man in the world. He’s so funny he makes milk shoot out of his own nose. He’s the kind of the kind of guy you see at a bar and then turn to the barkeep and say ‘I’ll have what he’s having.’ And the barkeep is like ‘It’s peyote.’ And then you’re like, ‘Bring it, motherfucker.’ And the next thing you know you’re standing on the infinite plain of some Salavador Dali painting littered with burning giraffes and melting clocks and a space coyote with the voice of Johnny Cash is your spirit guide.

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