REVIEW: Tim & Eric’s Chrimbus Spectacular

BY ARTHUR SHKOLNIK High-budget comedy acts are a dying breed of entertainment these days, and those that remain are few and far in between, but this November has been an exceptionally good month for Philly comedy, with the week-long Philly SketchFest having closed out on the 14th and now, the day before Thanksgiving, former Temple University Film students and Adult Swim all-stars, Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim appeared at the Trocadero to celebrate an early Chrimbus as part of their fourth nationwide live tour “The Tim and Eric Awesome Tour Chrimbus Spectacular!” with 30 shows taking place in 30 cities […]

A HAPPY THANKSGIVING: Tom Delay Convicted

AUSTIN AMERICAN STATESMAN:  Tom DeLay, the former U.S. House majority leader whose name became synonymous with the Republicans’ controversial rise to power in the Texas House, was found guilty today of laundering money in connection with the 2002 elections. DeLay was charged with money laundering and conspiracy to commit money. He faces a possible sentence of 5-99 years in prison and a maximum $10,000 fine on the money laundering charge, and 2-20 years in prison and a possible $10,000 fine on the conspiracy charge. MORE

BOOKS: Salman Rushdie At The Free Library

[Illustration via ARISTOTLE’S LACKEY] BY CAROLINE SCHMIDT Salman Rushdie’s personal life has been the focus of media attention ever since the publication of The Satanic Verses lead Iran’s Ayatollah Ruholla Khomeini to issue a fatwah that called for the author’s execution in 1989 forcing the author into hiding for more than a decade. Starting with 1975’s Grimus, he has published more than a dozen novels, received numerous literary prizes, including the prestigious Man Booker Prize for 1981’s Midnight’s Children, and been knighted by Queen Elizabeth. He is more infamously known for his four marriages — to striking women with names […]

GAYDAR: Local Man Gaybashed In Rittenhouse Square, Responds With ‘It Gets Better’ Testimonial

BY ALEXANDER KACALA As an out and proud gay man at 24, I want to speak to all the bullied teenagers from Cypress, Texas to Tehachapi, California, from Annoka, Minnesota to here in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. I want to join in this nation wide, public dialogue that it gets better. That it’s OK to be yourself, it doesn’t matter who you love, and that the best is yet to come. While I do believe this, I don’t want to sugarcoat the realities of life, for outside of high school walls and college campuses, homophobia exists. That even when it gets better, […]

ROAD RAGE: Average Philadelphia Driver Spends 38 Hours Per Year Stuck In Traffic Jams

INQUIRER: Bad roads cost the average Philadelphia-area driver about $1,500 a year because of added vehicle maintenance, extra gas, time lost in traffic jams, and the cost of traffic crashes, according to a study released Tuesday. The study, by a research group sponsored by insurance companies, labor unions, and construction companies, concluded that Pennsylvania’s deteriorated roads and bridges cost drivers statewide about $8.2 billion a year. The study cited eight busy bridges in the Philadelphia area as prime examples of deficient spans, including the Platt Bridge, the Chestnut Street bridge at 30th Street, and the Passyunk Avenue drawbridge over the […]

MYSTERY: The Boy Who Fell To Earth?

BOSTON GLOBE: The teen’s mutilated body was discovered Nov. 15 on the lawn of a posh Milton home at 9:30 p.m. Police said he had severe head trauma and his legs and arms were broken. Parts of his remains were found in two places on Brierbrook Street. An autopsy also found no clear sign of death, beyond the obvious trauma. A toxicology report is pending. FAA and Logan officials told the Herald yesterday that jets inbound to Boston from the south do drop their landing gear at about 2,000 feet in the air — right over Milton. And a flight […]

MONSTER MASHED: Eddie Munster Back In Rehab

The following is from a statement issued by Butch Patrick’s agent Jodi Ritzen: It has been 2 weeks since Butch Patrick better known for his character of Eddie Munster checked himself out of a Williamstown NJ rehab after just 4 days of a detox program.  The former child star now 57 who felt that he could conquer the 40 year old cocaine and alcohol addiction on his own proved to be wrong when Patrick not only continued with drugs and alcohol but started to black out and make rash decisions while under the influence causing him to nearly overdose last […]

RIVER BOAT GAMBLOR: Foxwoods Responds To SS United States Proposal Like A Dog Shown A Card Trick

INQUIRER: If Harrah’s Entertainment and the Foxwoods Casino partners are interested in using the SS United States as the centerpiece of their proposed South Philadelphia gaming hall, they aren’t showing it. On Monday, supporters of the derelict ocean liner publicly unveiled their vision for restoring the historic ship and incorporating it into an ambitious casino complex on the Delaware waterfront. The 990-foot vessel would have to be moved about three-quarters of a mile north from its berth at Pier 82 to the 16-acre Foxwoods site. However, lawyers for Foxwoods and Harrah’s appear more focused on working out their own plan […]

Fake Taliban Peace Negotiator Takes Money And Runs

NEW YORK TIMES: For months, the secret talks unfolding between Taliban and Afghan leaders to end the war appeared to be showing promise, if only because of the appearance of a certain insurgent leader at one end of the table: Mullah Akhtar Muhammad Mansour [NOT pictured, above], one of the most senior commanders in the Taliban movement. But now, it turns out, Mr. Mansour was apparently not Mr. Mansour at all. In an episode that could have been lifted from a spy novel, United States and Afghan officials now say the Afghan man was an impostor, and high-level discussions conducted […]