AMERICAN ASSHOLE: Q&A With Arthur Kade

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AaronAvatar_1.jpgBY AARON STELLA GAYDAR EDITOR Until my Internet-savvy roommate directed me to arthurkade.com—in particular, a post titled Eulogy — I had no idea who Arthur Kade was. Four sentences into the post, I got the picture: he’s a delusional, narcissistic bag-of-douche, a whore to glamor and slave to fashion, but most of all, an irrepressible and frighteningly charismatic advocate of all the ruinous aforesaid. Upon finishing (no small feat without throwing up a little bit in my mouth) I decided to peruse other posts (Drunk Girls, The Kade Scale, Relationships, etc.), when all the sudden, mid-Kade, I felt the journalist in me rear his head. Kade has received a lot of press recently: a profile in Philly Mag, an appearance on the Danny Bonaduce Show, and the occasional spot from Philebrity and Gawker. While trashing Kade would undoubtedly be immensely satisfying, judging from the tone of Kade’s press thus far, it would also be utterly unoriginal. I have no interest in chronicling his so-called life or the self-ingratiating exploits therewith, nor does the prospect of angering him in the hopes of triggering some quasi-bigoted rant tempt me.  No, I truly feel for the man, and took this interview as an opportunity to turn him away from—what I, for one, hope is not—an irreversible modus operandi assholia. Hopelessly naïve, I know, but my efforts did not go unrewarded. Needless to say, the press-hungry Kade happily agreed to an interview. I fashioned my questions to echo the vitriol from various comments on his blog, which generally ask, in the midst of disgust and befuddlement to the enigma, “Why are you such a douche bag?” Well my friends, make of it what you will. Below you will find our merry interview—the unabridged, uncensored Kade, in all of his self-absorbed glory…

Phawker: So you have an acting coach I understand.

Kade: Yes. I actually will have two acting coaches shortly. One in the city and one in the suburbs.

Phawker: And what is the function of each?

Kade: The one in the suburbs help me hone monologues, develop characters, become the best actor I can be, get ready for classes. The one in the city I’m hiring shortly. He was referred to me through the Walnut Street Theater, and by one of the actors in my film class. We’ve had some trouble connecting, but hopefully we’ll hook up in the next few weeks.ak11.jpg

Phawker: Where do you take the film class at?

Kade: It’s at Mike Lemon’s studio at 7th and Callowhill St.

Phawker: What did you do before you starting acting?

Kade: I was a financial advisor for many years. Got out of that. And now I’m acting full time.

Phawker: Do you have any gigs at the present?

Kade: I just did background on Gossip Girl, Ugly Betty, also Angelina Jolie’s new movie and M. Night Shamalan’s new movie. That’s all been in the last two months. Now I’m pretty free of work.

Phawker: It comes and goes doesn’t it?

Kade: Sure does.

Phawker: So, the main point of my talk with you today is to gain a perspective on your blogging life. When did you launch arthurkade.com?

Kade: Februrary 12th of this year I believe was the official date. The point of my blog is to document my story, which is the story of a financial advisor who was living the dream life, who wasn’t happy, sold his practice to pursue his dream. So I figured I’d document this, including stuff about my thoughts, my life, my perspectives. And people seem interested.

Phawker: And are you doing this to market yourself? To get your name out there?

Kade: Anything is to market myself. I mean, is it the primary tool of it? No. It’s mainly more of an online diary, but it’s also kind of to give the world inspiration and perspective. You know, here’s what goes on. It’s not all glamor. But when you have a guy who combines talent, looks and a drive like no one else has—and in three months, look what’s happened.

Phawker: Although you say it’s not all glamour, all the aspects you just named are essentially ak11.jpgglamorous. Not to mention, the header on your blog says, “My Journey to Stardom.” So that tells me, and I’m assuming many others since it’s on your header, that you want people to see it, that this is the theme, the want of stardom, which is, in its nature, implicit of glamour. So if this is an online diary, on which you document your glamorous exploits, then it seems to be very much about glamour and trumpeting the great things about you as a person.

Kade: That’s a good point. But I also show the negatives about me. For instance, I never had an insecurity around my nose. I’ve always loved my nose. I feel it goes with the whole Adonis things, and whenever people meet me, they’re always like, “You have this awesome Roman , awesome Greek profile.” And I show pictures of myself; and having modeled for years, now I have people saying that my nose is too big. So now I have insecurity about my nose. My skin. You know I never cared about my skin, but now I do, since people have been pointing out its flaws. Now I’m on Acutane. I discuss everything openly. I’m seeing a speech therapist. Also going to a regular therapist. Biting my nail. And living what I call, quote unquote, “A third world existence.”

Phawker: “A third world existence.” Wait, what do you mean by that?

Kade: Well I wrote about it on my blog, how I went from living in a professionally decorated beautiful town house to pretty much sleeping on other people’s couches and renting apartments with other people. In essence, a much simpler life than what I was used to.

Phawker: It seems, however, from your blog post that you still live a pretty lavish life. Just taking from a few of your posts. The most recent one, Eulogy, about who you call your “surrogate grandmother” who turns out to be just your step-grandmother. And you talk about a party you just came from in Chelsea — a very swanky, upscale club if I remember correctly. And it sounds like you were carousing with a generally wealthy crowd. So you still have the financial means to attend these luxury lifestyle parties. How does that fit into your present “third world existence?”

Kade: Here’s the thing. It’s not necessarily just the financial part; it’s also just having the ak11.jpgability—a lot of these clubs you just can’t get into. With Philadelphia, I own the club scene here. I’ve owned it for years and years. I know all the club owners. I’ve been partying for-e-ver. New York, I know a lot of the people, too, just by going up there for so many years. It’s [kade’s blog, I’m assuming] just to show people what it’s like in higher-level clubs, what it’s like partying when you have 30 supermodels around you. I want to give people a kind of a touch of that. I don’t really drink much; almost not at all. So it’s just showing people what my life looks life. But again, I show a balance. Like today, I put un-touched modeling picture up.

Phawker: Um-hmm.

Kade: When you see a photo of Jennifer Aniston on Vanity Fair, sitting there naked—I don’t know how long they airbrushed that for. But, you know, I’m assuming they airbrushed it before they put it on there. And probably if you saw the original picture vs the published, they’re probably not the same. So, what I’m giving people is an inside look at everything. What the pictures look like before they’re airbrushed, and even going as far as to ask people to help me choose what photos I should airbrush. I’m giving them a look at the whole business inside and out. And someone just commented to me that I’m creating a whole new genre around this. Actors have been so self-conscious about their image, and here is a guy who is doing some cool things, making a name for himself, and putting it all out there.

Phawker: Now, it’s interesting, because while you claim that you expose everything about yourself— flaws and all—it’s seems that you hold people to a different standard. I came across the “Kade Scale” on your blog. On there, you rate the physical appearance of women from 1-10, and you provide examples of celebrities who fall into the top three tiers. These are all women, by the media’s standards and our culture’s standards, who are considered beautiful. So it seems that theKade Scale, from what I’ve learned of you thus far, conflicts with the mission of your blog site, if not your mission altogether. You seem to embrace a dichotomy. You have untouched photos of yourself displayed, and others that have been airbrushed, and then you have airbrushed photos of women, and you glorify how they look.

Kade: Well, I’m a very difficult grader when it comes to women. So let me simplify this for you.

Phawker: Please.

Kade: Let’s take Beyonce for example. Actually Beyonce’s a bad example. Let’s take Shanon ak11.jpgSauceman. Beautiful woman. If she wasn’t in a whole bunch of movies—and let’s say you’re sitting at your VIP table at the Griffin, and Shanon Sauceman walks by—and then you have 30 other supermodels—she’s an eight. But because she’s Shanon Sauceman, people want her to be elevated. Or Jessica Alba. I think there’s a false expectation that’s said that people are movie stars, people are humanitarians — you understand what I’m getting at.

Phawker: Nope.

Kade: Yeah. There’s an entity that’s created rather than the physical perception of the woman. To say they’re no attractive women—a 7’s a beautiful, beautiful woman, but they’re a 7. Women don’t want to hear that they’re a 7—and if you read the Philadelphia Magazine article—the problem with women is…I use Sex in the City as an example. If you watch Sex and the City, a lot of the times you see the four women sitting at a table, they all have different personalities. Samantha Jones is the most untamed character. She sits there and talks about having sex with men, penis sizes, how a man performed, how cum tasted, how dildos feel, lesbianism, talks about everything, right?

Phawker: Um-hmm.

Kade: There are more men—well, I mean—I don’t take it as anything more than her plugging away at the opposite sex, her talking it real.  I’m doing the same thing I feel. I’m giving people the authoritative perspective on the way men are. So—when my friends and I are sitting around and a gorgeous girl walks by, or let’s say an average girl wants by, we’ll say, “Ah, she’s alright. Her ass could be better, or, she needs fake boobs.” Then she’s a 6. Nobody’s seen that in writing I guess, which is the difference. And now that someone’s putting it out there it getting a lot of attention. And you know, that’s the way all guys talk. The way real guys talk.

Phawker: That’s the way guys talk? The way they should talk? Is that what you’re saying?

Kade: I don’t know in life if there are any shoulds. There’s no real orthodox track to anything in life. We have media at a level where anything can be done.

Phawker: So you’re saying it’s all relative.

Kade: It is all relative. Everybody has a different opinion about everything.

Phawker: Sure. However, I’ve always held the philosophy that, despite the array of options and opinions in the world, that your actions say something about who you are. We are talking about you and your perspective. From what I’ve gleaned from you thus far—and correct me if I’m wrong—you judge the worthwhile-ness of a woman by her physical appearance, that that’s the most important feature about her person, and what essentially draws you to or repels you from them. Your Kade Scale is indicative of your values as a person.

Kade: Let me put it to you this way. No woman wants to be a 7. But look at my site. My site’sak11.jpg the perfect dichotomy of this. People say that Arthur says x, y and z. Some people 100% agree with me, some 50%, some completely disagree, and that’s cool, but I give them the forum to respond. I don’t hide from it, my face is out there. It’s me. So, I’m giving both side of the equations for people: I’m not censoring anything. You know, I put naked pictures up today…

Phawker: Again with the nude photos?

Kade: And people said, “OK, we don’t like this, this, and that. Or, they’ve said, he is fucking god-like.” So, as I’ve said, everything is relative, everybody has they opinions, and that’s what the blog allows.

Phawker: You say that on your blog that there is an array of varying concurrency with your blog/life/image/looks and all—

Kade: That’s America! (chuckle)

Phawker: —But I have to say that there are a number of posts where you have 100+ comments, and almost all of them are of people saying what a giant douche bag you are, and how judgmental and critical you are of others. What do you have to say to that?

Kade: We’re in the entertainment business. I’m an actor.

Phawker: Um-hmm.

Kade: My goal eventually is to be an award-winning actor. People are going to have their opinions. There are some actors who go for months without a single call back. If you listen to what people say, you’re done. You have to pretty much have a goal in mind—this is how I focus my whole life and this is how I don’t fail. Because I put a goal in my mind, and I do whatever it takes to get there. I think I outwork and outthink everybody, and that I’m an incredible person who can get me there because I’ve proven it to myself before, and number three and number three, I just don’t listen. I used to be a financial advisor. In my first and second year I broke every record the company has ever seen. They actually called me a living legend. And you have people saying, “He shouldn’t be doing this. He’s doing this the wrong way.” or, “He shouldn’t dress like this.” I heard everything. But I was doing better than everyone else. And it was because I was better. God made me better.

Phawker: Now, I don’t feel like these vitriolic comments on your blog—let’s take the Eulogy ak11.jpgpost for example—were commenting on your skills or your style of artistry and business savvy, saying that you lack aptitude; they were commenting on your moral character, what you are like as a person. Many people said you are self-absorbed, that you are obliviously cruel to other people, and others that said that your disregard for others makes you repulsive. I have some comments written down here if you—

Kade: No no. I think that’s a great, great statement and I 100% disagree. I feel that I’m actually bringing more humanity to it by showing them what goes on behind the scenes.

Phawker: Elaborate, please.

Kade: I’m showing people what it’s like to be Arthur Kade from start to finish, whether they like it or not. So, luckily I’ve been very blessed in that I’m very successful and that I know that I’m going to make this work. No doubt in my mind. Sometimes I’ll tell the reader that a girl turned me down–although that almost never happens. But I’m the Michael Jordan of what I do. Practically no one has the balls to do what I do. And that’s why my story is so special, that’s what makes me so special. And I’m going to show the world how I’m doing it.

Phawker: Forgive me for playing devil’s advocate, but, do you feel that there are many people leading essentially miserable lives, and it’s not because they aren’t working hard enough to follow their dreams, but because they’ve had a bad hand dealt to them? They could be deformed, poverty-stricken, one of many marginalized demographics who suffer disadvantages for reasons out of their control. They could be a 3 on theKade Scale. So, what would you say to these people? Do they have less proverbial balls than you do? Or is their life any less special than yours?

Kade: Let me ask you a question. What are your dreams?

Phawker: My dreams? I have tentative plans for the future. I don’t really in terms of dreams. I can’t really name a possession, occupation, or state in life I’d like to be in—save financially stable. I think that’s just where I am. Perhaps someday I will have a dream. But nothing I would call a dream at the moment.

Kade: Give me a generalization. Is it to be a journalist for Time? A reporter for Access Hollywood? Give me what you’re thinking about your life.

Phawker: Sure. Well I would like to have financial stability, first and foremost. And from that ak11.jpgstability, if the future allows, have the means with which to compose a novel. That would be nice. I don’t believe it’s necessary for my happiness, but I recognize the satisfaction of that life. I’d also like to be able to provide for my mother when as she grow older. But I think that’s what all of us feel obliged to do, you know? I think it naturally takes precedence over—

Kade: So you want to be a writer.

Phawker: Uh, yes. I would like to stay a writer; however, if I were to write something, and it doesn’t yield a dime, that would be fine, too. Of course, it would be great to make money off of writing novels I don’t deny that. But, as I said before I don’t believe it’s necessary for me to be happy.

Kade: So that’s your definition of happiness. My definition of happiness is to be an award-wining actor—

Phawker: Well. I didn’t say it—

Kade: Let me finish.

Phawker: OK…

Kade: I’m doing something that I love, and I want to keep doing it, but do it for millions of people, having them love me, and I’m making millions doing it. Now let’s go back to what you just talked about, which is a person who is deformed. If I were to ask about the dreams of a deformed person, their dreams might be to win the Special Olympics. To do whatever. And if that’s their dream, then they should go for it. Someone who doesn’t have the natural ability to write a novel may never write a novel, and so that probably won’t be their dream. Their dream is to probably to be an accountant. So I would say to them, “go out and be the best damn accountant you can be.” So you know, I don’t look at people in that manner. People should chase their dreams with all their heart. But most people are weak and don’t chase their dreams. I do.

Phawker:  I never said that my proverbial dreams were necessary for my happiness. I said it would be nice. In fact, I specifically said that it wasn’t necessary. So what do you make of a person like myself or others who don’t have definite dreams they’re aiming for? Or better yet, people who don’t need to all the money and fame you feel you need to be happy?

Kade: Let me tell you something. I fought for everything in my life. Nothing was ever handed ak11.jpgto me. Nothing. I never received help from anybody. I didn’t have to. My skill set that god gave was at such a level that I could outperformed anyone. My point is (brief pause) until you’ve tasted struggle, until you understand what it means to fight for what you believe in, you haven’t lived. My mantra is take chances and live. 99.9% of people are scared to take chances. That’s because they’re scared of failure aka they’re weak. Uh (long pause) what were you just saying?

Phawker: I was talking about being happy. Dreams and such.

Kade: Right happiness.

Phawker: Yeah. Let’s go on that one.

Kade: The contestants that lose on American Idol can be perceived two different ways. They can say, “Whah! I lost American Idol! Boo-hoo. Dream over.” Or, they can take losing as motivation, and use it to find out how they can become bigger faster better, so I can make myself achieve whatever my dream is. The people who cry and walk away are losers. That’s the difference between me and them. I’m a winner. They’re not. Some people have a role in life and that’s their role and so be it. That’s fine. I have my role, which is to enchant millions and make millions in the process.

Phawker: And then what about people whose strengths are never recognized? Say their dreams are, “to be recognized?” What then?

Kade: Then those are bad dreams. Because they aren’t realistic.

Phawker: Wait a minute. But your dreams are to be recognized. To be rich and famous, essentially. So are your dreams therefore unrealistic?

Kade: No, because mine will come true.

Phawker: Huh? How do you know?

Kade: Because I’m not everyone else.

Phawker: Arthur, forgive me, but, that doesn’t make logical sense. How do you know for ak11.jpgcertain that your dreams will come true and others won’t? You don’t think that something anybody can know. Nobody can predict the future.

Kade: You can’t be certain about anything. I don’t know what the future holds.

Phawker: OK. Then if you believe that, then again, how can you be so certain that your dreams will come true?

Kade: Because I’m me. I think you’re astonished by my answer. It’s inspiring stuff.

Phawker: Not at all. If I’m astonished, then it’s for your sake. Let’s assume for a moment that your dreams don’t come true, and that hitherto you’ve believed that they will. Won’t that crush you? Don’t you think it’s wiser to humble yourself to the fact that sometimes life doesn’t work out in your favor, so that you avoid devastation?

Kade: I’m humble. I know nothing’s for certain. But I will capture my dreams. No matter what.

Phawker: (Sigh) OK. Well, I think I have only one more question for you: do you feel you have compassion for people who you think are not as ballsy as you? Essentially, the people who you would consider weaker than yourself?

Kade: Let me tell you something…

Phawker: Allow me to clarify: compassion, in this case, means that you have sympathy and love for people in their suffering such that you are compelled to help them. And so, do you believe you then possess compassion for people who you view as weaker than yourself?

Kade: They’re not my problem. Their problems are not mine. So no. I have a dream, and I’m going to go for it no matter what. I need to stay focused, and to worry about other people’s problems is their own problem.

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