PHAWKER EXCLUSIVE: The Man Who Howled Wolf
Monday, June 30th, 2008
BY JON MICHALS The reason for my weekend trip to Columbus, Ohio was twofold; one to give Ohio a purple nurple for its role in recent elections, two to see Tom Waits. Both missions accomplished. Boo Ya! I made the 7 hour drive out with my friend Mike and this little Chihuahua named Carlos who had some sort of skin disease (don’t ask). Tom came into Columbus, Ohio and literally took over the town for the night. Every bar you went to was playing Tom songs. Every dude in town was a bearded thirty something that you knew was there for the show. Oh, the people were hungry for some PEHDTSCKJMBA and PEHDTSCKJMBA is exactly what they got (at least the “C” in PEHDTSCKJMBA). Making the trek to Columbus made the show that much more of an adventure. The whole thing would not have been as eventful had Tom decided to play at the Tower or the Beacon Theater. He knows that people will drive from Cape Cod to see this show. You get the sense that he delights in knowing that he is creating an adventure for his passionate fan base.
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The show was at the majestic Ohio Theatre. This was the perfect venue for him; a painted dome ceiling with intricate molding patterns created the ideal back drop for his absurdist vaudeville-like live show. Tom strolled onto the stage gliding around like a contortionist, often stretching and wiggling his fingers toward the audience as if to cast a spell on the eager crowd. By the end of the show, the jacket and vest combo he was wearing was covered in back sweat. Tom is a guy who puts it all on the table when he performs. Twisting his face muscles, stomping his feet, there were times it appeared as if he was he is speaking in tongues. During “Eyeball Kid” he casually put a glittery, Disco Ball hat on his head. The lights shone down on him and he started spinning around, sending reflections off the Disco Ball hat out into the audience. Then just as casually he took off the hat, as if this is a common thing people do all the time.
Tom played songs from through out his career with a focus on material from his recent albums Real Gone and
Mule Variations. Often the songs were tweaked just enough to confuse the crowd for a few moments before people recognized the song. He performed a trippy Elvis/Nick Cave like version of “Lie to Me” with a cadence that made it seem like he had Tourette’s and the band swelling in and of the song. He even added a beat box break down to the song. Classic! He sent chills through my spine with a rendition of “The House Where Nobody Lives”. You could hear a pin drop as he explained “without love, it ain’t nothin’ but a house… a house where nobody lives”.
But it wasn’t all fun and games, Tom was there to educate. “We were just in Oklahoma” he told the crowd, “Oklahoma’s weird. They have some weird laws in Oklahoma.” He then gave a primer on Oklahoma law, for example, did you know in Oklahoma…
It’s illegal to eat in a restaurant, that’s also on fire.
It’s illegal to get a fish drunk.
It’s illegal to photograph rabbits during the week.
You learn something new everyday I guess. On the ride back, we pulled over to the side of the road. I located Ohio’s tit and gave the state a rather hard purple nurple. I issued a stern warning that if the state were to mess up another election, I would come back and upgrade the titty twister to a bitch slap. I apologized for being so crass, but that’s the way it has to be. Out of the corner on my eyes I could see PEHDTSCKJMBA moving onward across the highway.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Jon Michals is a local filmmaker/producer whose work has been featured in Sundance and various festivals around the country. He recently produced and directed the video for the Bitter, Bitter Weeks song “Hanna.” Photographer Michael T. Regan is the staff photographer for the Philadelphia City Paper.
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“There’s a common loneliness that just sprawls from coast to coast. It’s like a common disjointed identity crisis. It’s the dark, warm narcotic American night I just hope I’m able to touch that feeling before I find myself one of these days parked on Easy Street.” –TOM WAITS, 1976

BY JONATHAN VALANIA The Astro is a broken-down, drunk motel located about an hour north of San Francisco in Santa Rosa, near the arid, wine-growing region of the Sonoma Valley. It’s Tom Waits country - he lives somewhere around here, although exactly where remains a closely guarded secret. MAGNET booked a room at the Astro because the price is right, but upon closer inspection, it’s the ideal setting to await an audience with the man who elevates the down and out in song. The bard of boardinghouse madrigals. The man who reads the lines in people’s faces like a palmist, uttering the stories behind the wheelchair smiles and motel miles that map the crazy countenances of the characters that haunt his songs. Our room, as Waits puts it in the song “Ninth And Hennepin,” is “filled with bitters and blue ruin.” It’s a stomped-out cigarette butt of a place. The ventilator is broken, and it’s clear the oxygen has left this room years ago. There’s mold on the ceiling and a hint of urine in the air. A brick holds up the short leg of the bed, which is dotted with cigarette burns and mysterious stains. The faucet won’t stop dripping, and there’s a pubic hair clinging to the rim of the bathtub like a garnish. The swimming pool is filled with dirt and weeds. There is, however, free HBO.
The only other guest amenity is the comfort of knowing that the woman who checks you in also minds the cash register at the liquor store around back. It’s 10 a.m. and the residents are getting an early start, stocking up on their daily allotment of vodka, brandy and cigarettes. A little girl stands out front mimicking the happy-hour wobble of a drunk ambling down the sunstroked street “He bumped into a wall and now he’s skipping,” she says to nobody in particular. There are two kinds of guests at the Astro: those who are only staying for an hour and those who will never leave.
File our stay under “Accidental Tourism,” a random touchstone to Waits’ boozy, flophouse residency at the Tropicana Motel(1) in the endless, doomed summer of Los Angeles in the ’70s. It was a simpler time then. A piano served as furniture, and down the hall lived Waits’ partner in grime, Chuck E. Weiss, “the kind of guy that would sell you a rat’s ass for a wedding ring,” joked Waits to an interviewer at the time. Weiss brought around Rickie Lee Jones, with whom Waits shared a brief creative and romantic dalliance. It was at the Tropicana that Waits forged the image that would stick with him through the years: a rumpled, bourbon-fed balladeer, holding up a drunk piano, eyes-closed, 80-proof chords dancing the tarantella with his bullfrog croak of a voice, pirouetting in the halo of smoke and stubble ringing the low-slung, tweed dude cap. Between regular tours opening for acts like Frank Zappa and the Rolling Stones, Waits would record the seven albums that would mark his early incarnation as a crushed romantic huffing the last remaining fumes of the Beat and jazz eras. On albums like The Heart Of Saturday Night, Small Change and Nighthawks At The Diner, Waits hung his weary, gonna-drink-the-lights-out persona on a dancing skeleton of upright bass and plaintive piano chords. It was a Tin Pan Alley full of hoboes and drifters, dancing girls and desperate characters, barroom wit and gutter poetry. Waits was the guy playing piano in the corner of the coffee shop in Edward Hopper’s painting Nighthawks. Unfortunately, it’s the corner that you can’t see.

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people, as Thompson would say, buy the ticket, take the ride?
beneath those flowerpot hats and hazmat suits are men, no less immune to the ravages of time than any other homo sapien bi-ped: thinning pates, thickening waistbands, corrective lenses. Still, if the music’s makers have aged, the music has not. What once sounded radical, if not altogether ridiculous, now sounds modern, and eminently reasonable in a world grown darker and weirder in the interim.
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closed down our school.
The only guys we could find to play the music we were writing were our younger brothers. At one point the band was Bob Mothersbaugh, Jim Mothersbaugh, Mark Mothersbaugh, and Gerry. Then it was Gerry Casale, Bob Casale, Mark and Bob Mothersbaugh, and then Jim was in the band for awhile, then he became obsessed with inventing the first electronic drum machine. We kept pushing him to make drums sound like V2 rockets and mortar blasts, and he started working on that. That’s where Devo started — we had a sense of humor, but we were very serious about the things we were joking about.
think of ourselves as musicians, certainly not as rock ‘n rollers, we thought of ourselves as musical reporters, reporting the good news in devolution. Our experiences in Ohio were to be greeted with anger and we were kind of a lightning rod for hostility back in those days.


exploit the valuable oil and mineral deposits below these a bed which have until now been impossible to extract because of the thick sea ice above.