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NEW RULE: Middle-Aged Dudes Wearing Sunglasses At Night Are Not Allowed To Call 16-Year-Old Girls ‘Slut’ UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES

From today’s Howard Gensler column:

howardgensler.jpgWAITING IN the Wegman’s checkout line yesterday, Tattle read that Britney Spears was insane, she’s threatened to kill her children, what sent her over the edge was meth and her slutty younger sister has been dumped by her impregnator. [Note to angry readers: Tattle is not calling Jamie Lynn Spears a slut, although if she quacks like a duck . . . but in using slutty as an adjective we are saying her behavior was slutty. Teen or not, when your mother allows your (nowjamielynn_pregnant_anonib.thumbnail.jpg ex-)boyfriend to live with you, and your older sister is as fertile as a greenhouse, you bear responsibility for your behavior, especially when you get rich off preteen fans.]

Howard, let’s just put aside for a second the image of a middle-aged hack in silly sunglasses verbally slapping around an underaged girl — a pregnant one, no less. What does having a baby have to do with being a slut? You don’t know do you? Well, let us help you out: Absolutely nothing. Maybe you wanna write that down so you remember it. Now, a guy with a legitimate journalism degree wasting everyone’s time re-writing gossip wire reports for a living? That, sir, is what we call a S-L-U-T.

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3 Responses to “NEW RULE: Middle-Aged Dudes Wearing Sunglasses At Night Are Not Allowed To Call 16-Year-Old Girls ‘Slut’ UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES”

  1. leave howard alone! Says:

    How about a middle aged guy masquarading as some kind of edgy blogger filling out his blog by trashing a nice guy who writes a funny column that has more online readers than phawker will ever hope to have, what do you call that?

    [Nice try, Mrs. Howard Gensler’s Mom. — The Ed.]

  2. Phawker » Blog Archive » Q&A: 12 Useful Facts About Juno’s Kimya Dawson Says:

    […] soundtrack, according to the New York Post. Miss Dawson could not be more pleased, no matter what Howard Gensler says. […]

  3. longhaired steve Says:

    …yeah, us middle aged dudes shouldn’t call a young lady such as the pregnant, unwed, underaged spears girl a slut. who are we to judge, hmmm? yes, why can’t we all just get along. oh HELL, phawk that, that little@#$$% is a f&*^% slut and everone knows it!!!!!!!!
    longhaired middle aged dude who wears sungalasses at night.
    (that’s right, uh hu, sunglasses at night)

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