SURRENDERED: Man With Bomb Road Flares Takes 2 Hostages At Clinton New Hampshire Campaign Office

UPDATE: Nobody was hurt, and after the man, identified as Leeland Eisenberg of nearby Somersworth, was taken into custody, the police said he had nothing more than road flares taped to his chest. They would not discuss Mr. Eisenberg’s motive or mental state, but said he could face federal as well as state charges once the investigation was complete. [via NEW YORK TIMES/Photo by BRIAN SNYDER for REUTERS] PREVIOUSLY: (CNN) — Two people are being held hostage by an armed man at Sen. Hillary Clinton’s campaign office in Rochester, New Hampshire, police said Friday. Emergency crews arrive at the office […]

PAPERBOY: Bowlers, Bugs and Bullets Edition

BY AMY Z. QUINN We know how it is: so many words to read, so little time to surf for free porn. That’s why every week, PAPERBOY does your alt-weekly reading for you, freeing up valuable nanoseconds that can now be better spent ‘roughing up the suspect’ over at Suicide Girls or what have you. Every Thursday we pore over those time-consuming cover stories and give you the takeaway, suss out the cover art, warn you off the ink-wasters and steer you towards the gooey caramel center of each edition. Why? Because we like you. ON THE COVER CITY PAPER: […]

SECOND OPINION: Being I’m Not There

BY CARRIE RICKEY INQUIRER FILM CRITIC Much as I admire [the] performances, and much as I respect Haynes’ attempt to create something deeper than the standard movie biopic, I left the theater scratching my head, thinking, as Gertrude Stein said of Oakland, “There’s no there there.” It’s an enigmatic movie about an enigma — not unlike a boring song about boredom. Thankfully, Haynes successfully avoids replicating the biopic’s standard arc of struggle/flameout/phoenix rising from ashes, the cliche of every VH-1: Behind the Music episode. While structurally ambitious, his six actors in search of one character — or actors representing different […]

JUNK SCIENCE: The Brussel Sprout Is Your Friend

BY ELIZABETH FIEND LIVING EDITOR Having diversity in your diet is an often overlooked way to remain healthy. Within each food category lies a cornucopia of nutrient-rich foods. And each one of these foods contains hundreds of unique substances — the good, like antioxidants and phytonutrients, and the not-so-good toxins. By eating a diverse diet, you increase your chance of getting the good and decrease your chance of consuming too much of the bad. Increase eating the good + Decrease eating the bad = Decrease your risk of disease. Prehistoric peoples are thought to have dined on 1,500 different wild […]

THE LINCOLN BITE: Curing Hunger With Just $5

Located near 22nd and South, Ants Pants Café bustles and resonates with strange Australian catchphrases and the whoosh-bang of an overscheduled espresso bar. “Ants Pants” is Aussie vernacular for “the best” or the “it” thing of the moment, which explains why the walls are plastered with street maps of Sydney (co-owner Liz Fleming cut her teeth in the cafes of that city). Tables are a bit scarce on weekends, but for good reason, and take-out orders fly out the door as the morning becomes afternoon. Ants Pants offers an array of traditional café pastries for $2 to $3. A five-dollar […]

HOT DOCUMENT: HOW COULD ANY MAN WITH THIS MANY FRIENDS BE AN ENEMY?

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: BILAL Press Release for Journalists Tuesday, November 27, 2007 Today over 1850 professional photographers and journalists from over 90 countries sent once again a petition to the U.S. Government demanding the immediate release of Associated Press photographer Bilal Hussein. Bilal Hussein was detained by US Forces in Iraq on April 12, 2006, and has been held in prison ever since without charges. This week, the US Military informed The Associated Press that they plan to seek a criminal complaint against Bilal before an Iraqi court on Nov. 29. Despite the fact that the US Army had said […]

Sudan Rabble Calls For Teddy Bear Teacher’s Head

Thousands of protesters, many brandishing clubs and swords, took to the streets of Sudan’s capital Friday, demanding the execution of a British teacher who let her students name a teddy bear Muhammad. Gillian Gibbons, 54, was found guilty Thursday of insulting Islam and sentenced to 15 days in jail. She was spared the more serious punishment of 40 lashes. That angered many in Khartoum, who rallied in Martyrs Square outside the presidential palace. Protesters waved sticks, knives, axes and swords.“Kill her, kill her by firing squad!” they chanted. “No tolerance, execution!” Others shouted, “Shame, shame on the U.K.” A cleric […]

NEWS CLUES: ‘So Local It Hurts’ Edition

Jannie Gets Out The Way Of The Barnes Move, For $12 Million And Naming Rights City Councilwoman Jannie L. Blackwell’s three-year holdout against moving the city’s youth detention facility to her West Philadelphia district paid off yesterday, as the city, state and school district announced plans for a $12 million community center named after her late husband. “This plan has been a long time coming, but the result was worth waiting for,” said Blackwell, who had refused to introduce legislation required for a new Youth Study Center at North 48th Street and Haverford Avenue without something “positive” for the community. […]

DRUG TEST: Frisking The Inquirer’s Super-Weed Bust Story For The Straight Dope On ‘The War On Drugs’

So the Inquirer is trumpeting a big marijuana bust on City Line Avenue that took 16 pounds of the dreaded “AK47″off the street, denying buzz to untold scores of suburban dad-rockers currently pumping iron out in the garage like Kevin Spacey in American Beauty. A potent type of marijuana known as AK47 – so strong that some users are treated in emergency rooms for overdoses – has hit the Philadelphia area. Today, police laid out 16 pounds of the stuff [NOT pictured, above] they said they confiscated from a high-level dealer who supplied the suburbs: Michael Cascioli, 31, of the […]

BREAKING: British Teacher Sentenced To 15 Days In Sudanese Slammer For Teddy Bear Incident

KHARTOUM, Sudan (CNN) — A Sudanese court found a British teacher guilty of insulting religion and sentenced her to 15 days in prison Thursday for allowing a teddy bear to be named “Mohammed,” British authorities and her lawyer reported. Gibbons, 54, was arrested Sunday after she asked her class of 7-year-olds in Khartoum to name the stuffed animal as part of a school project, the British Foreign Office said. She had faced charges under Article 125 of Sudan’s constitution, the law relating to insulting religion and inciting hatred. Appearing somber and dazed, Gibbons arrived at the central courthouse in Khartoum […]

VALANIA/SWEENEY FEUD: A Never-Ending Fount Of Dubious ‘Hipster’ Humor Since 2006!

From Today’s Metro, where Quizzomeister Johnny Goodtimes holds forth on some Philly wrestling matches he’d like to see: Philebrity founder Joey Sweeney vs. Phawker founder Jonathan Valania in a Hipster Death Match: This match disappoints promoters, as the hipsters think that this whole idea is “lame” and, after entering the ring, just exchange shrugs and discuss some crappy band. Actually, I’m pretty confident that any fight between those two would involve some girlie slapping, soft weeping, a blurry Photobucket slideshow and at least one smoke break. And the entire evening ends with Jill and Ruthie ditching them to go for […]