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GAYBO: HIPSTERS, TRAMPS AND SLEAZE, MORRISSEY DOES EUROVISION? NO FUMAR y NO ESTACIONAR & THREESOME OF THE WEEK

gaybo.JPGBY TOMMY ZANE Aging Granddaddy of all hipsters and ambivalent sex-God Morrissey is rumored to have jumped in the race to write and/or perform this year’s U.K. entry in the Eurovision Song Contest, to be held May 12 in Helsinki, Finland. The 52 year-old contest counts ABBA and Olivia Newton-John among its discoveries (the Aussie warbler lost out to the ABBA’s “Waterloo” in the 1974 go-round) but Eurovision is mostly known for its high camp and lousy pop songs with flashy Solid Gold-esque choreography. If Morrissey does indeed sign up to represent the U.K., I can only imagine a domino effect throughout Europe. Berlin will re-unite and perform for Germany, John Travolta and Olivia can represent Greece (OK, that’s a stretch), and Sinead O’Connor will sing for Ireland while ripping up a picture of Tony Blair. Meanwhile, on this side of the pond, not a peep in the press about the rumored American version of Eurovision. Can you imagine the possibilities? Kansas, Alabama, Chicago . . . the list is endless. Check out this classic German Eurovision performance From 1979, and fast-forward to 1:28. Warning: Do not drink milk while watching, unless you like it squirting through your nose!
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Broadway’s 73 year-old starlet Chita Rivera rolled through Philly this week in her autobiographical musical, “The Dancer’s Life“. Ramon and I caught her show at The Merriam Theatre, as my beloved is a big fan. My favorite line from the show was about former “West Side Story” rival, Rita Moreno. Rivera created Anita on Broadway, then lost the role to Moreno for the film. She lamented, “when Rita got the film role, I wanted to kill myself. When Moreno got the Oscar, I wanted to kill her.” She also admitted to having sixteen pins in her legs (no doubt from the hazardous life of a dancer), which set off alarms in airports. Raise a glass in honor of Ms. Chita’s half-century in show business.

She would have made a helluva Catwoman.
Chita Rivera sells it with an early version of The Village People?!?!
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So far, the smoking ban has been a great success in Philly; Marlboro says their sales are up 20 percent. But seriously, many Philadelphians have no fucking idea where they should/shouldn’t or can/cannot smoke, so they’re doing it anywhere they damn well please. This is Philly, after all.

My suggestion? Let The Parking Authority take over enforcing The Ban. Not only does one need to stand 20 ft from any public place while you smoke, you’ll also have to stick quarters up your ass. Maybe Philly can get EZ-Pass installed so you can pay to blow smoke up someone’s ass in advance.

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THREESOME OF THE WEEK
Mickey “The Monkees” Dolenz performing at The Forrest this week as Charlemagne in “Pippin”; Hung like a you-know-what yet still nearly dead Triple Crown winner Barbaro; and this week’s 76 year-old birthday boy, Charles “Lidsville and Match Game” Nelson Reilly. I found him on myspace — and yes, it’s really him.

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One Response to “GAYBO: HIPSTERS, TRAMPS AND SLEAZE, MORRISSEY DOES EUROVISION? NO FUMAR y NO ESTACIONAR & THREESOME OF THE WEEK”

  1. Raised By Bees! Says:

    What was that clip at the beginning of the Eurovision you tube? Kraftwerk’s entry?

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