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Meltdown: Weldon Says Fed Probe Sticking Out Of His Rectum Was Shoved Up There By The Dems, Just Ask ‘Grumpy’ The Gym Guy

Ever since the FBI raided his daughter-the-lobbyist’s house in Queen Village last Monday as part of Justice Department influence-peddling investigation, U.S. Rep. Curt Weldon (R-PA) has been blaming everyone — Joe Sestak, Bill Clinton, Hilary Clinton, The Unstoppable Liberal Media — everyone that is except, well, Curt Weldon. If Mr. Weldon got his tit caught in a wringer, to borrow an old chestnut from the last season of cataclysmic Republican scandal, he has only himself to blame. And if he hopes to generate sympathy and throw himself on the mercy of the voters — which is about the only viable strategy left for Mr. Weldon, short of a resignation, a.k.a. the way honorable men deal with dishonor — publicly acknowledging that his own actions brought this heat upon him would be the place to start. Instead, he fires up the Republican Noise Machine and sets it for Smoke & Mirrors. All week long he’s been trying to get the mediaweldondn.jpg to play fetch with each slippery, insinuating soundbite, using every rumor and innuendo trick in the trial lawyers handbook, hoping to redirect the story farther and farther away from the place it actually begins and ends, which, we can all agree, is with Curt Weldon. In the immortal words of the Great and Wise Bubba, that dawg won’t hunt. Check this from TPMuckraker:

Weldon said yesterday that a retired FBI agent had “confirmed to me that a person who works on my opponent’s campaign was bragging that the campaign knew three weeks ago” about the FBI’s investigation into Weldon and his daughter’s company. McClatchy Newspapers revealed the existence of the investigation last Friday, citing “sources with direct knowledge of the inquiry,” one of them a law enforcement official.

So who’s this retired agent? He’s Gregory Auld, a Weldon supporter. Auld says that a man at a local gym, whom he calls “Grumpy,” because he doesn’t know his name, told him that three weeks ago, a guy in a Sestak T-shirt (Auld doesn’t know this guy’s name, either) said “something big” would happen to Weldon in three weeks. So Auld decided to check that out. He approached the Sestak-T-shirt-wearing-dude in the gym and asked if he was happy about what happened over the weekend. Auld says the guy shrugged his shoulders and replied, “”We sniffed this out two weeks ago.”

The evidence could not be clearer or more damning. Or as Weldon says, “That is what it is.”


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4 Responses to “Meltdown: Weldon Says Fed Probe Sticking Out Of His Rectum Was Shoved Up There By The Dems, Just Ask ‘Grumpy’ The Gym Guy”

  1. Matt Says:

    Something big is going to happen to Weldon in two more weeks. Like losing his fucking job. That’ll give him more time to fruitlessly investigate Able Danger.

  2. Phawker » Blog Archive » Public Service Announcement: Sestak Sinks Weldon’s Swift Boat Before It Leaves Dock Says:

    […] Previously: Weldon Says Fed Probe Sticking Out Of His Rectum Was Put There By Sneaky Dems […]

  3. Phawker » Blog Archive » TIMBER! Says:

    […] THERE’S A NEW SHERIFF IN TOWN, AND HER NAME IS TEDDY ROOSEVELT NANCY PELOSI. PHAWKER CONGRATULATES ADMIRAL JOE SESTAK, CAPTAIN PATRICK MURPHY, AND THE SANTORUM-KILLER HIMSELF, BOB CASEY JR. WE KNOW THAT YOU GUYS COULDN’T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT OUR HELP, BUT THAT’S NOT WHAT’S IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW. AND ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT WITH GREAT POWER COMES GREAT R-E-S-P-O-N-S-B-I-L-I-T-Y. […]

  4. Phawker » Blog Archive » Tim-BERRR!!!! Says:

    […] A NEW SHERIFF IN TOWN, AND HER NAME IS TEDDY ROOSEVELT NANCY PELOSI. PHAWKER CONGRATULATES ADMIRAL JOE SESTAK, CAPTAIN PATRICK MURPHY, AND THE SANTORUM-KILLER HIMSELF, BOB CASEY JR. WE KNOW THAT YOU GUYS […]

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