ELIZABETH FIEND REPORTS: There was a war, you see, in a hot and far away place that had a strange religion called I-s-l-a-m and a lot of our boys were getting killed, and maimed, and messed up in the head and the war dragged on a lot longer then we expected until nobody could really remember why we were over there in the first place. Then a farmer shot his whole family, shot ’em dead in their sleep with his Army issued rifle and the powers that be just denied, denied, denied what you know and I know and even […]
Project S.M.E.R.C. or Wiping The Smirk Off Smerconish With The Dirty Rag Of Truth #2
Like the War On Christmas, the War on Halloween is another Red State canard. Repeat: IT DON’T EXIST. Are you listening, Uncle Fester? Sure, it’s not that big of a deal, but if you give these people an inch they’ll take Iraq. Seriously, if you don’t call ’em on it the next thing you know Santorum is equating it with man-on-my-pet-goat marriage. Check this bulk email invite to Michael Smerconish‘s…wait for it…Un-PC Halloween Party: A few years ago, a letter came home from one of my kids’ schools saying that for Halloween, please dress the children up like someone from […]
STUDY: The Good Ship Print Journalism Continues Its Titanic Plunge; In Other News Phawker Traffic Up 7%, Curiously Enough
Circulation Plunges at Major Newspapers By KATHARINE Q. SEELYE of The New York Times Circulation at the nation’s largest newspapers plunged over the last six months, according to figures released today. The decline, one of the steepest on record, adds to the woes of a mature industry beset by layoffs and the possible sale of some of its flagships. Overall, average daily circulation for 770 newspapers was 2.8 percent lower in the six-month period ending Sept. 30 than in the comparable period last year, the Audit Bureau of Circulations reported. Circulation for 619 Sunday papers fell by 3.4 percent.But some […]
READER WRITES: I Am JADED FUCKIN’ INDIE GUY, You Will Know Me By The Trail of Dead And The Sting Of My Envy
A few things bug me about this [Philly Mag] article: 1. Of course Joey‘s gonna be nice to a reporter. When there’s something in it for him, Sweeney‘s charm can be downright dazzling. Of course, the flipside to this, is we don’t know what the piece looked like after x amount of edits, and Philly Mag doesn’t want to alienate a possible new demographic (which I don’t think exists in this town in any real large numbers: the indie-yuppie…I still think it’s The Khakis buying all those gazillion dollar condos). Besides, maybe Sweeney’s not important or familiar enough to most […]
SMELL MY FEET: Ladies And Gentlemen, Literally Back From The Dead, It’s The Fabulous Mummies!
Well done, Lads! Glad to see all that rehearsin’ has made NO difference whatsoever. Ah, the early ’90s. A simpler time. You may know these bandaged men from their classic garage-stomper “You’ve Got To Fight To Live On The Planet Of The Apes,” which is really true if you stop to think about it.
ASK MOTHER PHAWKER: Kids, Don’t Try This At Home, No, Really
Dear Mother Phawker, My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year, and we are deeply in love and truly committed to each other. We didn’t “do it” right away. We waited, like a month and a half. For me, that’s taking it slow. Anyway, like two or three months later, things started to get a little weird in the bedroom. Not like whips and chains weird. It started innocently enough when my boyfriend began making kung-fu sound effects while we were in the act, climaxing (so to speak) with a Bruce Lee “Hiiiii-YAAAAAAAAAA!” Things gradually got stranger […]
Seasons Greetings: IT’S NOT THE AFTERLIFE, BUT YOU CAN SEE IT FROM HERE
EVERYBODY KNOWS THIS IS NOWHERE: Laurel Hill Cemetery, Summer, 2005 [Infrared Photography by Chuck V.]
Media Matters To NY Times’ David Brooks: What Part of SANTORUM SUCKS COCK IN HELL Don’t You Understand?
Now that we have your attention, what Media Matters actually said was: NY Times‘ Brooks lauded Santorum’s anti-poverty work, ignored his charity-related controversies: Summary: In a recent column, David Brooks wrote that if Sen. Rick Santorum loses his Pennsylvania Senate seat, it’s “probably good news in Pennsylvania’s bobo suburbs” but “certainly bad for poor people around the world.” Brooks, however, did not mention the controversy surrounding Santorum’s own charity, or his attacks on prominent international humanitarian groups. Media Matters: Making Media Matter Since A Coupla Years Ago Attytood: Bono Is Wrong-O, Seriously Santorum Sucks You-Know-What In H-E-Double-Toothpick
Later Today on JUNK SCIENCE: For God Sakes Man, Put Down That Pepsi Or You’ll Kill Us ALL!
LOOK FOR IT LATER TODAY, BECAUSE IT’S WHAT YOU DON’T KNOW THAT CAN HURT YOU…REAL BAD,YO!
BREAKING: Document Shredder Truck Spotted Outside Cheney’s House
VIA WONKETTE: Spotted on 10/19, by an eagle-eyed Wonkette reader: The Mid-Atlantic Shredding Services truck making its way up to the Cheney compound at the Naval Observatory.Fun fact: Mid-Atlantic Shredding Services has been contracted by the Secret Service for our Executive Branch’s record-not-keeping needs. The present contractor providing Pickup & Destruction of Sensitive Waste Material services is Mid Atlantic Shredding Services and the current rate is $0.095 cents per lbs. You better get crackin’, Dick — that evidence won’t destroy itself! Wonkette: Stop Him! He’s Getting Away! Very….Slowly Phawker Wonders: All kidding aside, why isn’t the media descending on this […]
RADIO DAZE: WXPN To Hang The DJ? Also, Hear That Crunchin’? That’s The Sound Of Car Wheels On A Gravel Road At Appel Farms
All you Volvo-clad latte-sippers in yer North Face fleeces who hung in there through the homestretch of the 885 Artists Countdown may have heard an advert for an open on-air position at the station, which made us wonder — is someone leaving? Negatory, says ‘XPN program director Bruce Warren, which comes as no small relief to us because really, we can hardly get out of bed these days without Michaela Majoun hoggin’ all the covers. Sike! No, this is one of those rarest of creatures in these belt-tightening days: A brand spankin’ new position! So take note, all you would-be […]